Saturday, August 25, 2012

"NORMAL" again - seriously?

I wanted to update about my Dr visit with the new endo and the test results - apparently they are so normal that she doesn't feel any kind of thyroid hormone is necessary.  I guess that is "good" news?  But really with all my symptoms that scream "HYPOTHYROIDISM" I'm a bit disappointed in the results.

I know that probably sounds crazy and weird to the average person reading this but if you can, just for a moment, try to understand how it would feel if you knew in your heart that something just isn't right, and to always have "normal" test results yet you have every symptom of certain conditions - you would be frustrated too.  I guess it just means I go back to researching possible reasons why and that means back to the drawing board!  I don't know if there is even anything out there left to uncover, but if there is, I will certainly uncover it.

I'm still determined to find the answers, more answers..... but am wondering if I ever will?  Am I just stuck in this body of aches, pains, fatigue and exhaustion with temporary relief that will never be permanent?  It's depressing at the least to think that life will forever be like this but I have to forge forward and know that there are always new discoveries and that I will stumble on something that gives me the answers I seek.  It's a very long journey to finding my health and I'm realizing more and more everyday that it's not a quick fix, it's not something that will just happen and that it is something that I have to work on everyday, every minute and every second that I can.

I often wish I was, just for a day, the "normal" person that my blood shows I am...the "normal" person who doesn't have to take extra precaution in what they eat, what they do and how they do it, the "normal" person that can sleep for 8 hours and feel great, the "normal" person who can be active all day and feel great for it, the "normal" person who never gets a migraine or a headache for no reason, the "normal" person who doesn't have to plan everything they do in order to make sure they don't aggravate their body into an episode of pain that will last for who knows how long, the "normal" person that just feels good, all the time...........enough for wishing, I'm not that person anymore and have to accept that most likely I never will be again.

Instead I will accept that the path I'm on (as best as I can, at times it's really hard) is the path I'm suppose to be on, the path that God has given me.  Maybe I'm suppose to teach others how to cope with the illness they have, maybe I'm suppose to help those who come into contact with me on how to make themselves feel better, maybe, just maybe I've been given the cards I've been given to help me learn how to be more empathetic and sympathetic to those even less fortunate.  I don't know the "why's" but I do know that I need to continue to search for anything and everything I can find to try to find the "why's" if they are out there.

Until next time, may you have pain free days and nights and peace in your heart

Gerri




Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Getting things back to normal

Hello friends!!  I know it's been several weeks since I last updated but I'm still here!  It's starting to cool down here in Colorado, our fall weather is starting to come into play with cool mornings.  While it's still heating up in the afternoons, we are loving the cooler mornings and evenings.  It won't be long now before the snow starts to creep in.  We usually get snow by Oct 31st, which seems far away however it will be here before we know it!

School has started back up for the kids in our area.  Last week was the first week.  Now that the kids are out of the house for the day I can actually get some things done and not have to be interrupted every 10 minutes to break up a fight or help one of them with something urgent.  Everything is always URGENT to an 11y/o and 13 y/o don't you know!

I'm still feeling good.  Keeping my routine relatively the same helps.  As usual, with the cooler weather comes a few aches and pains but overall nothing new to report.  I'm exercising and really working on losing some of this extra weight I've accumulated over the past couple years.

I recently read an article that talked about FMS being a nutrient disorder - I found it very interesting because I know for me, once I got all my nutrients back to the correct levels they should be at I felt so much better.  It took a good year but along the way small changes were very clear.  If you recall in my last entry I listed the differences over a year and all my nutrient deficiencies are cleared up and a lot of my symptoms are minimal now too - I like to say they are in "remission" as I know I'm not cured, I'm just healing my body with the things I'm doing and healing is coming from the cell level.

I saw a new endocrinologist last week.  My thryoid still has some nice size nodules on it however nothing to worry about as far as we can tell.  She had some blood drawn to check my Vitamin D levels again as well as my thyroid function.  Even though my #'s have historically come back "normal" she thinks my easy weight gain and lack of ability to lose it has a lot to do with my thyroid - UM HELLO I think I've been saying this for the past 5 yrs to my other Dr, hence why I have a new one!  Once those blood tests come back she'll decide if I need a thyroid hormone to help combat what we believe to be HYOPTHYROIDISM.  She said I have almost every single symtom that would point to it regardless of what the blood work states - she said sometimes you can still have normal #'s and have the condition.  I'm thrilled to finally have a Dr that is willing to listen to me vs just write off my concerns.  So those results are still pending.

I'm very proud of a recent accomplishment - On August 3rd I climbed my very first mountain which was 13, 400 ft!  I made it to the peak which I didn't think was going to happen!  It was a climb alright but I did it!!  I was struggling along the way but no way was I giving up!  It was a GREAT feeling to sit on the top and know that I DID IT!  I was with my husband and daughter and another family that we went with.  We started out at 7am and by the time we were totally done I think it was close to 2pm.  It was a great feeling and I can't wait to climb another one.  I was hurting later in the evening and the next day but it was good pain, muscle pain from all the hiking and walking.  Believe me when I say if I can do this ANYONE can!! Just takes some determination!

I hope you are all doing well - You'll notice to the right side of my page I have added a new button - it's to a fibro bloggers directory.  I just found it and think it's a great resource to find more people who blog about their condition - if someone out there is able to help, then more power to everyone!  I know that's why I started mine and hope that I've been able to give some insight to others about what has worked to help me feel better.  With Fibro, CFS and Lupus it always seems to be one thing or another that I'm dealing with but I'm so glad that I'm continuing to feeling good and finding that I'm able to do more and more in my life again.

Until next time!