It seems like things get better then worse then better then worse - I wonder when I'll just be better!?!?! Earlier in the year I was super hopeful that I was onto getting myself better but a recent bout of extreme fatigue has just sent me back to ground zero!
It's been a bit over a month since I last updated. At that time I had been doing some pre-spring cleaning and it was great - I had some energy to get that done and felt ok overall. Since then things have taken a drastic change.
My father in law passed away on 2/14.....that ended up taking us to California to help make arrangements and be with my mother in law for that week. That also took me off course with my exercise and juicing......once we returned we got consumed with final planning for my business convention which was only 3 wks out.
I've been juicing the Dr Oz Green stuff mainly because it has the items in it that I was primarily juicing, it tastes good and is easy to purchase those ingredients to have on hand. They aren't expensive which is another plus of that particular drink. I've gone away from the fruits mainly because of the sugars in them and have just stuck with that one.
Fast forward a few weeks - we went to New Orleans over the week of 3/9 and enjoyed some time away for my annual business convention with Slumber Parties and had a great time. As usual the time there is full of tons of activities, very little sleep, a lot of walking, dancing, eating of various Cajun foods and of course the hurricanes and hand grenades! It was a great time for all!
While there I felt ok - tired but attributed it to the lack of sleep and late nights out. Upon returning home I felt ok, but ended up feeling as if my chronic fatigue symptoms really flared up towards the end of the first week home. I couldn't get enough sleep to save my life. I am sure the trip to New Orleans is the root of that flare up - it has to be the reason that my energy sank to level 0 and I couldn't get out of bed for days.
As I write today I am feeling OK - I did a party last night so I'm a bit tired from that but feeling a little better than I have, in regards to energy, than I have in the last couple weeks.
I have an appointment this week with my Endocrinologist to check my thyroid nodules - every 6 months I get those checked. I still believe that my thyroid is not functioning regardless of what she says - I'm not sure what to do though - if the blood work says all my hormone levels are "within normal range" and everything appears to be ok - how do you argue with that? I do however wish to dig deeper into these nodules and somehow figure out if they have taken over the function of my thyroid, secreting hormones and "faking out" the blood tests - I'm sure that's a possibility......or maybe I'm just reaching for something - hell I don't know.
I just wish someone, somewhere would help me feel 100% human again - I feel like I've somewhat "checked out" on life at this point. Especially when I spend an entire day of my life in my bed sleeping because I just can't wake up. That's how I spent this past Thursday......after I got my kids off to school which was a task in itself, I went back to bed and slept the rest of that day......woke up a few times but couldn't keep my eyes open. It's really sad and makes me sad that I'm missing life because of this chronic fatigue I'm suffering from - in fact I'm tearing up just writing about it because I feel like there is nothing I can do about it.......right or wrong, that's how I'm feeling right now. I need to keep searching but honestly I think I've done all the research I can on my own - I just keep finding the same things I've already read about.....is there really no more help out there?
When I think about living out the rest of my life struggling with this extreme fatigue it makes me sad because it's hard to fight it...along with being completely unfunctional at times there are also body aches/pains to deal with as well. Someone who doesn't have issues with fatigue/pain can't even imagine what it's like to always feel like you have been up for 24hrs straight, everyday - even though you have made sure you got 8hrs sleep, eat right, get your vitamins in and exercise - I'm telling you, it's terrible and I wouldn't wish this kind of illness on anyone anywhere.......
Sorry for the "downer" but this is where I am suppose to write how I feel, and there you have it........I'm just in a bad place right now with my fatigue and struggling to trust western medicine after all this time I've gone and nothing real dramatic has changed with my health. At times I feel like nothing is ever going to change - but something has to change........I know there is someone out there that can help.
There is actually a clinic here in Denver that deals with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia however they are not "insurance approved" because the treatment methods they use are more holistic than medicinal and have not been "proven" to be eligible to be included in insurance plans. Upon checking into it they informed me that treatment is $500 a month which pretty much stopped me in my tracks there. After looking into them I really feel they might have some answers for me BUT we definitely don't have an extra $500 a month to put towards that. I'm tired of being in the hole with our medical bills so that is the last thing we need is to put ourselves more in the hole in that area. It's really a catch 22 because I think a more holistic approach is what will help me but the expense of it stops me - crazy.......
Well, I guess that's it for now.....I am thinking of doing a whole body cleanse starting this week to see if that doesn't help me in some way......honestly I think I will do ANYTHING at this point to just feel better, have just a little energy and see the light at the end of what has turned into a very long dark tunnel I'm in....
Until next time!
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