I've learned, again, that the perception and reality of others lives really has nothing to do with your reality or your life. We all live separate lives, we all live different lives. Some have health, some have sickness, some have happiness, some have sadness and misery. We are all different and think differently. Just because you think one way, doesn't mean the way another person thinks is wrong, it's just different. Just because you do things one way, doesn't mean the way others do things is wrong, it's just different.
It's funny how some people think that they are right in the way they perceive things, when most of the time they are so off base it's infuriating, yet, they stand firm on what they believe to be reality. It's their reality, that's all. Perception is huge and we all perceive things differently. Again, I don't believe it makes it right or wrong, it's just perception through ones eyes and mind.
This time of year for many people brings many sad emotions. The holidays are suppose to be full of happiness and joy but for a good majority it's just the opposite. For some it may remind them of how lonely they are now compared to years past. For some it may remind them of how little they have when they wish they had more. For some it may be a reminder of the fact that they have lost loved ones who they wish could be with them during the holidays. For myself and many of you, it's a reminder that we are not even close to the person we use to be before getting sick. I see so many people fighting and angry over things they can't change. Sad over things they don't have and forgetting the things they do.
I miss those in my family who aren't around us anymore especially during the holidays. It use to be a huge gathering with family and extended family and sometimes even friends would join the fun. It seems every year that gathering would get smaller and smaller as people moved away or joined other families. For many years we would have Christmas eve dinner with my mom, yummy prime rib she would cook. Over the years that tradition changed to going out to Outback steak house - then my mom moved to California so it's just the 4 of us now. The good side to that is my mom gets to spend the holidays with my sister and her family, which is growing so they can enjoy family and celebration meals in their home. Life changes, we roll with it but during this time I do miss them all and wish we could be together. My daughter gets to go visit my family over the holidays. I really don't want her to go but I know she wants to spend the time with her aunt, uncle, the kids and my mom which is why I let her leave us and be with them. I miss her so much when she is gone but I know it's important for her to keep those relationships close. I wish we could all go, but of course, financially we just can't swing it.
My health is much better now than it has been in the past, but I still have my problems. I have headaches almost daily, aches and pains that I just "deal" with because I have to. I do what I can to get up and move everyday but what most of you have no clue to is that it takes me a lot more effort than it does most everyone else around me. I don't complain about it, I don't tell someone every time I have a headache or pain, I just deal with it. I know that my problems are just that, my problems. I know for a fact that there is someone out there, who has it much worse than I do....I may not know them, I may know them but the point is that what I deal with everyday is perceived by others as nothing.....perception is their reality, NOT MINE.
INVISIBLE ILLNESS is just that, INVISIBLE to all but the person living with it. As anyone who has one of these illnesses knows, life is anything but easy and it's so hard for anyone on the outside to "get it". I love the fact that I have people in my life who do "get it" and totally and completely understand when I tell them I am not up to going out or that I'm just not feeling well. For the others in my life, I don't even bother talking about it because it doesn't matter - they don't "get it" and it's a waste of my time and theirs to even try to explain. How can they understand when they don't live it - they don't have it and they can do anything they want to do anytime they want to do it. I've had people tell me that I can do this or that, just get up and do it - it makes me laugh because just by saying this to me shows me how ignorant they are to what I live with.
I feel like I'm just rambling now so I'm going to end this with a couple articles I found interesting. The first one sounds hopeful that they are researching this and possibly looking to come up with a treatment. The second one is more of an FYI for those of you who might have a deficiency and not even realize it. I hope you are doing well and enjoying what you have and remembering those who have less. Until next time, to your health!
Link between Fibro and Brain inflammation
9 Signs of Magnesium deficiency
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Seems like nothing has changed but when you look back, everything has changed updates for June, July, August, Sept, Oct, Nov.....
Greetings friends! Has it REALLY been since MAY that I've updated my blog?? UGH I'm terrible I know! So here comes a big update on what's been going on........
June, July and August proved to be busy with the kids and their variety of events. School was out for the summer and that meant daily volleyball practice, camps and games. That in itself keeps me on my toes. We spent nearly everyday at the school for volleyball and a couple times went on trips related to the school volleyball program. My daughter has such amazing dedication to the sport.
In July I tried to start exercising again- I was doing great for the first week, walking 3 miles a day on the treadmill at the gym. I set out to try and be more active, try to drop a few pounds, if nothing else, just walking a bit. After a week of doing this I was in so much pain and I couldn't walk! I ended up at my chiropractor, IN TEARS because of the pain in my hips. My right hip was the worst, with burning pain and literally every time I took a step it felt like it was locked up - it was terrible! I had some acupuncture, some cold laser therapy and an incredibly painful adjustment on the first visit. It felt so much better after that, I could actually walk out on my own with much less pain. After two days of this treatment I was so much better but you better bet I wasn't getting back on that treadmill!! FORGET THAT SHIT! I continued with this course of treatment for 3 days and the pain was finally gone. The Dr said it was my bursis in my hip flaring up from lack of use to sudden over use - whatever, I wasn't doing it again!
August 12th school started up again which also meant I went back to work with the kids going back to school. I love having the same schedule as the kids during the year and the summer off to be with them. Even though the pay working at a school is crappy, it's better than nothing and gives me a schedule to follow, otherwise I would literally not do much of anything day in and day out - that I know! It's hard sometimes to get up and go to work, really hard, but I do it because I know it's what I need, not only for the income I do get but for the schedule to follow.
September was a non-eventful month just getting back into the swing of a normal schedule everyday. I was extra tired trying to get back to waking up early and working all day but that's nothing new really, I don't think I ever really get use to it. Still not exercising - can't take the chance of having a major flare like I did in August - oh god that was awful! We are looking forward to a trip in October for fall break.
October we took a trip over fall break to California. We've been really looking forward to this. We planned to see family. We went and saw my husbands mom for a few days and then went to visit my dad as well as my sister and her family in Palm Springs. It was so great to see everyone and the kids. We all live in different areas so we don't get to see each other but maybe once a year. That's the drawback of living so far away from family. I am in Colorado with my family, my sister is in California with her family, my husbands family is in California (1 brother in Colorado but 8 hrs away) and my dad is in Oklahoma. So as you can see we are all spread out.
We were able to get some family pictures done while we were all together and that was wonderful.
Pretty good looking group if I do say so myself! I'm in the yellow shirt next to my handsome hubby in the blue - my son is in the light yellow shirt and my beautiful daughter is holding her baby cousin.
November to current
Thanksgiving was great, I cooked a nice meal with the help of my daughter. It was just us 4 but we had a feast and enough to feed us for another week to come!! I need to learn to cook a little less on holidays! Now it's that time of year again, the holidays are upon us. For some of us this is a time of great fun, visiting with friends and family and going to party after party......... and for others it's a reminder that we aren't what we use to be.
I use to go shopping, now I shop online for 99% of the gifts I give....I can't physically go to the store and be on my feet for hours on end walking around browsing and picking out that perfect item....I use to attend many parties during the months of November and December...now I simply have to RSVP a NO because I really don't have the energy to smile and be "merry" for several hours at a time...Trust me when I say it's not because I don't want to or that I don't enjoy the company, it's not even close to that.....it's because my body just won't handle it and I'll end up paying for it for days to follow with pain and exhaustion. It's just who I am now and I have to accept this as my reality. As I like to say "It is what it is"...........it's been and has, more than ever, become my life motto.
I know I've been terrible at keeping my entries current and for that I am truly sorry - I really need to figure out how to just get it done......honestly after I am done working each day I am just so exhausted to do much of anything. I'm sure the words "I'm tired" are over used in my home by me and my family is sick of hearing it, but it's true. I'm always tired, exhausted actually. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) has ruined me. I've dealt with the CFS longer than I have the Fibromyalgia (FMS) but the two combined is a doozy as you may know or can just imagine.
I have yet to find anything, natural or otherwise, that gives me any kind of good, long lasting energy or the feeling that I can take on my days without the lingering feeling of pure exhaustion. I did take Adderall XR for many years but it took a toll on me and my goal is to be off all RX medications and only treat my conditions as naturally as possible. It's really turning out to be difficult. I've tried everything I'm aware of that's out there. Maybe I'm missing something or maybe my body is just not "normal" and doesn't respond to traditional things. Vitamin B12 does nothing for me - I've tried regular injections with no luck. My chiropractor couldn't believe that I really had no luck with the weekly injections over a course of 5 weeks. Nope, nada.......abnormal response for most people
If anyone out there knows of something that could be helpful, I'm always willing to try if I haven't already. I really feel desperate at times. Along with the lack of energy comes a little weight gain because of the lack of motion. I could, if life with 2 teens allowed, sit in my recliner day in and day out, only getting up to eat, visit the bathroom and maybe get a drink. It's really sad for a 44 y/o to feel and act like a 94 y/o day in and out. I do my best with the cards I've been dealt.
As for my pain related to FMS....it's always been primarily in my hips, That's where it started and that's where it pops up the most. As I shared from August, I had a terrible flare from exercising and it was in my hips. My lower back and shoulders also have flares. The most common thing I'm dealing with now is numbness and tingling in my right arm and hand. At times the nerve that runs down the arm feels like it's on fire and that is just miserable. Aside from those things I'm doing ok, the exhaustion from CFS seems to be worse now than the FMS but both are ever present, every day.
I still see my chiropractor every week when possible, in reality though it's more like every 2 weeks when I'm feeling well enough. Without those treatments I don't think I would be in very good shape. Adjustments really help so much. More than anything else I've tried, keeping my body "straight" with regular adjustments seems to be the best treatment for ME. I highly recommend you give it a try if you aren't having any relief of your FMS pain. Find a good Chiropractor who is familiar with FMS and can effectively treat you. It's worth it!
I'm looking forward to a 2 week break coming up. December 19th - January 3rd is our "winter break" - we will of course be celebrating Christmas and New Years during that time. I'm most likely going to cook a nice meal for Christmas - probably just a ham, mac and cheese and salad. Nothing too terribly extravagant. My family will go to The Outback Steak House on Christmas Eve - it's a tradition we started a few years ago instead of cooking a big meal at home. I like having someone else do all the work and clean up! Since it's just the 4 of us, it really makes sense.
I hope this update finds you well and coping well. I know some might be having a hard time and I sincerely hope you find relief for yourself. If there is any advice I could give it would be to not give up on finding what helps you! Since FMS effects everyone so differently, you need to find what helps you - I know that what I suggest might not be your thing, I just know it's helped me get as much of my life back as possible and I will continue to search for more until I feel that I've exhausted every avenue.
I am going to leave you with a recent article I found - To your health and until next time!
FMS linked with Coronary Heart Disease
I find the above article interesting. I have heart palpitations pretty regularly but my Dr has never been too concerned about it. I also have family history of heart disease so I suspect as I get older I will start having regular heart check-ups to make sure my heart is not misbehaving.
June, July and August proved to be busy with the kids and their variety of events. School was out for the summer and that meant daily volleyball practice, camps and games. That in itself keeps me on my toes. We spent nearly everyday at the school for volleyball and a couple times went on trips related to the school volleyball program. My daughter has such amazing dedication to the sport.
In July I tried to start exercising again- I was doing great for the first week, walking 3 miles a day on the treadmill at the gym. I set out to try and be more active, try to drop a few pounds, if nothing else, just walking a bit. After a week of doing this I was in so much pain and I couldn't walk! I ended up at my chiropractor, IN TEARS because of the pain in my hips. My right hip was the worst, with burning pain and literally every time I took a step it felt like it was locked up - it was terrible! I had some acupuncture, some cold laser therapy and an incredibly painful adjustment on the first visit. It felt so much better after that, I could actually walk out on my own with much less pain. After two days of this treatment I was so much better but you better bet I wasn't getting back on that treadmill!! FORGET THAT SHIT! I continued with this course of treatment for 3 days and the pain was finally gone. The Dr said it was my bursis in my hip flaring up from lack of use to sudden over use - whatever, I wasn't doing it again!
August 12th school started up again which also meant I went back to work with the kids going back to school. I love having the same schedule as the kids during the year and the summer off to be with them. Even though the pay working at a school is crappy, it's better than nothing and gives me a schedule to follow, otherwise I would literally not do much of anything day in and day out - that I know! It's hard sometimes to get up and go to work, really hard, but I do it because I know it's what I need, not only for the income I do get but for the schedule to follow.
September was a non-eventful month just getting back into the swing of a normal schedule everyday. I was extra tired trying to get back to waking up early and working all day but that's nothing new really, I don't think I ever really get use to it. Still not exercising - can't take the chance of having a major flare like I did in August - oh god that was awful! We are looking forward to a trip in October for fall break.
October we took a trip over fall break to California. We've been really looking forward to this. We planned to see family. We went and saw my husbands mom for a few days and then went to visit my dad as well as my sister and her family in Palm Springs. It was so great to see everyone and the kids. We all live in different areas so we don't get to see each other but maybe once a year. That's the drawback of living so far away from family. I am in Colorado with my family, my sister is in California with her family, my husbands family is in California (1 brother in Colorado but 8 hrs away) and my dad is in Oklahoma. So as you can see we are all spread out.
We were able to get some family pictures done while we were all together and that was wonderful.
Pretty good looking group if I do say so myself! I'm in the yellow shirt next to my handsome hubby in the blue - my son is in the light yellow shirt and my beautiful daughter is holding her baby cousin.
November to current
Thanksgiving was great, I cooked a nice meal with the help of my daughter. It was just us 4 but we had a feast and enough to feed us for another week to come!! I need to learn to cook a little less on holidays! Now it's that time of year again, the holidays are upon us. For some of us this is a time of great fun, visiting with friends and family and going to party after party......... and for others it's a reminder that we aren't what we use to be.
I use to go shopping, now I shop online for 99% of the gifts I give....I can't physically go to the store and be on my feet for hours on end walking around browsing and picking out that perfect item....I use to attend many parties during the months of November and December...now I simply have to RSVP a NO because I really don't have the energy to smile and be "merry" for several hours at a time...Trust me when I say it's not because I don't want to or that I don't enjoy the company, it's not even close to that.....it's because my body just won't handle it and I'll end up paying for it for days to follow with pain and exhaustion. It's just who I am now and I have to accept this as my reality. As I like to say "It is what it is"...........it's been and has, more than ever, become my life motto.
I know I've been terrible at keeping my entries current and for that I am truly sorry - I really need to figure out how to just get it done......honestly after I am done working each day I am just so exhausted to do much of anything. I'm sure the words "I'm tired" are over used in my home by me and my family is sick of hearing it, but it's true. I'm always tired, exhausted actually. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) has ruined me. I've dealt with the CFS longer than I have the Fibromyalgia (FMS) but the two combined is a doozy as you may know or can just imagine.
I have yet to find anything, natural or otherwise, that gives me any kind of good, long lasting energy or the feeling that I can take on my days without the lingering feeling of pure exhaustion. I did take Adderall XR for many years but it took a toll on me and my goal is to be off all RX medications and only treat my conditions as naturally as possible. It's really turning out to be difficult. I've tried everything I'm aware of that's out there. Maybe I'm missing something or maybe my body is just not "normal" and doesn't respond to traditional things. Vitamin B12 does nothing for me - I've tried regular injections with no luck. My chiropractor couldn't believe that I really had no luck with the weekly injections over a course of 5 weeks. Nope, nada.......abnormal response for most people
If anyone out there knows of something that could be helpful, I'm always willing to try if I haven't already. I really feel desperate at times. Along with the lack of energy comes a little weight gain because of the lack of motion. I could, if life with 2 teens allowed, sit in my recliner day in and day out, only getting up to eat, visit the bathroom and maybe get a drink. It's really sad for a 44 y/o to feel and act like a 94 y/o day in and out. I do my best with the cards I've been dealt.
As for my pain related to FMS....it's always been primarily in my hips, That's where it started and that's where it pops up the most. As I shared from August, I had a terrible flare from exercising and it was in my hips. My lower back and shoulders also have flares. The most common thing I'm dealing with now is numbness and tingling in my right arm and hand. At times the nerve that runs down the arm feels like it's on fire and that is just miserable. Aside from those things I'm doing ok, the exhaustion from CFS seems to be worse now than the FMS but both are ever present, every day.
I still see my chiropractor every week when possible, in reality though it's more like every 2 weeks when I'm feeling well enough. Without those treatments I don't think I would be in very good shape. Adjustments really help so much. More than anything else I've tried, keeping my body "straight" with regular adjustments seems to be the best treatment for ME. I highly recommend you give it a try if you aren't having any relief of your FMS pain. Find a good Chiropractor who is familiar with FMS and can effectively treat you. It's worth it!
I'm looking forward to a 2 week break coming up. December 19th - January 3rd is our "winter break" - we will of course be celebrating Christmas and New Years during that time. I'm most likely going to cook a nice meal for Christmas - probably just a ham, mac and cheese and salad. Nothing too terribly extravagant. My family will go to The Outback Steak House on Christmas Eve - it's a tradition we started a few years ago instead of cooking a big meal at home. I like having someone else do all the work and clean up! Since it's just the 4 of us, it really makes sense.
I hope this update finds you well and coping well. I know some might be having a hard time and I sincerely hope you find relief for yourself. If there is any advice I could give it would be to not give up on finding what helps you! Since FMS effects everyone so differently, you need to find what helps you - I know that what I suggest might not be your thing, I just know it's helped me get as much of my life back as possible and I will continue to search for more until I feel that I've exhausted every avenue.
I am going to leave you with a recent article I found - To your health and until next time!
FMS linked with Coronary Heart Disease
I find the above article interesting. I have heart palpitations pretty regularly but my Dr has never been too concerned about it. I also have family history of heart disease so I suspect as I get older I will start having regular heart check-ups to make sure my heart is not misbehaving.
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